What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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why cant fat people walk because they are fat

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops