HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

I'm rick james bitch

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

whats black? the colour

Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

PENIS that is all

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

A dead guy walks into a grave.

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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