Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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it was all Tagart

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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