What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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