How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops