What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

kennah campion when she talks

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

Jimmy Saville

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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