A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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penis

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

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No joke.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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