An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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