Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Women's rights

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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