What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops