A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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it was all Tagart

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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