Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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