A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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Guess what What

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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#Getweird

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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where's mom I killed her

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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