Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops