knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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