,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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What is the difference?

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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