What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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like if your cool

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add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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