Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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