A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy at a baseball game....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops