what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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