Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL Wasted your time didn't I -All the lol post are by me, LOL GUY.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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