George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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