So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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