why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops