What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops