Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

thumb_up thumb_down

what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

thumb_up thumb_down

69

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down

Leave. Now.

thumb_up thumb_down

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

thumb_up thumb_down

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops