Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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i hate non minorities!

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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