What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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I have an idea! You leave.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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No it doesnt..

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops