How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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