How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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