Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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