How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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What page are you on The gay page.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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