Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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wsde

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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quantum physics?

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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