What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down -1

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

kathryn atkins

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"hey do you know the date" "58"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm going to Re-write History... History

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'm so punny.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops