What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

No it doesnt..

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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