Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops