there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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pobody's nerfect

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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