A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops