What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops