A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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