Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

women's rights

I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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