What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops