Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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