Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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