The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

pobody's nerfect

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops