Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

Why should we dislike all the jokes on the Newest Page? Well you should too. >.>

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...