What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I'm 23, just like most people my age.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops