How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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N-E Pats never cheated

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops