A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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stinky boner

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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