Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dwarf Shortage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops