Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops