- Anti Joke

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

-2

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

-2

What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

-2

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

-2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

Apple hates Blackberry.

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

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